Hmm... First post! As I am trying to come up with words that will get people hooked and lead them to bookmark this site, I realize that everything that comes to mind sounds too cliche and has been said in every other blog site. It took me a few years to get over the fear of becoming one more person that believes they have a unique perspective on life and hopes to enlighten the world by becoming one more "official writer" on blogspot. Still, here I am.
If everything works out and I actually manage to regularly post stuff, then you will be able to peak inside the life of who appears to be a middle class, White male in America. But, things are not always as they seem. I was born in a German-speaking home in South America and moved to the US about five years ago for graduate school. And, I am gay.
Until a few years ago, I would have said I had "same-sex attractions", which was completely different because it implied that I could somehow "retrain" myself to be "normal". Considering the environment in which I grew up, this should not come as a surprise. I had never known of a gay person who was happy with their sexual orientation and the only openly homosexual I knew, committed suicide. So, I kept the faith and believed that one day a miracle would happen and I would be transformed into a heterosexual. After a few very strange dating situations, many prayers, and one weird exorcism, I was ready for a change in how I was approaching this whole situation. Unsure of what this meant, I decided to move to the US.
My move opened my eyes to a completely different truth. Five years later, I am living in a home that I recently bought with my partner of two years. We also just returned from a wonderful vacation in the Bahamas. Needless to say, life has changed dramatically. I was told by my church that I could not continue volunteering with them if I chose to "engage in homosexual behavior", and I came out to family and friends. Most of my family is still hoping that God will change me, even though they continuously express their unconditional love towards me (which can get a little confusing). Some friendships were lost, but most relationships have grown stronger.
So, it's been a pretty stressful couple of years! Navigating though an unending coming out process, immigration laws that don't recognize my partnership, and the additional family drama can get exhausting. But, one of the most important lessons I learned was that I can always find peace in the midst of chaos. I am finding out that peace has less to do with circumstances than with our state of mind. It's a journey, and I am learning to create my own happiness instead of depending on others for it. And by doing so, I think I make life easier on everyone around me.
And that's it! This blogging project will hopefully help me sort through ideas and thoughts around how to maintain a positive attitude when things around me are less than peaceful. I will likely post questions and answers that I stumble upon, and share topics that helped me embrace who I am.
If there's anybody out there, thanks for reading. :-)